How the Book "Not Invisible: A Memoir" Has Touched My Life

By Mommy Donna and Kib - August 31, 2021

I'll start my latest blog with a sour note, but please hear me out first. 

To be honest, at first, I didn't have any plans of reading "Not Invisible: A Memoir" because I thought I wouldn't relate that much with the book. Frances and I have different backgrounds: she is married and I am not (well, I used to be); she has three kids and I only have one; she is considered one of the respected bloggers in the Philippines and I'm just a humble one with a few following, and the list goes on. Despite my not having an interest in the book, I helped in promoting the book because I know that she is a good storyteller and I know that there are lots of women out there who can relate to her stories.

When Frances told me that she will send me her book, I was excited. I have already heard good reviews about the book and how the book made some women cry. To prepare to get in the mood for reading, I wore the daster included in the Experience Kit. I also lit up the scented candle from the kit.

"Not Invisible: A Memoir" is a 72-page book published by Ukiyoto Publishing early this year. It is a compilation of Frances' 30 most-read essays for 10 years. She included her favorite essays from her blog, Topaz Horizon, in the book because she knows that a lot of women can relate to her stories. Frances is a career woman, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a friend. In the short blurb of her book, Frances mentioned that she didn't plan to have a family until she fell in love with Vince who later on became her husband and the father of her three kids.

As I read the Acknowledgment part of the book, I already felt how thankful she was that her first-ever book was published. She thanked her avid readers, her closest friends who never stopped believing in her, her prayer group for always supporting her and reminding her about God's love, her loving husband, her kids, and her mom. Even if Frances' mom is no longer alive, she has lots of fond memories with her, which she included in the book.

"Not Invisible: A Memoir" is a book not just for wives and mommies. It is a book for women. It is a book for career women, daughters, and BFFs. You can relate to the book because you're a woman. I was wrong to conclude that I couldn't relate to the book because there were some stories in the book that I can relate to very well.

Here are the things that I've realized after reading "Not Invisible: A Memoir":

1. Mommies, you are not invisible! Never, ever think that they don't see your efforts anymore because you take care of your family more than yourself. Make yourselves visible by dressing up, spending quality time with your kids, and taking some time off from mommy duties. It's okay to have a pity party at times because of exhaustion and stress, but towards the end of the day, you must pick yourself up and get ready for the next day.

2. Love your mom--always. Frances' mom passed away in 2008. Her mom didn't see Frances' kids anymore. When things get tough in her mommy life, Frances will always remember her mom, wishing that she is still alive to lift her spirits up. I am lucky that my mom is still alive, but I know that soon, she'll join my dad in heaven. My mom has been my supporter until now. Even if we are already adults, she still makes sure that we're fine. You know what, she still buys my underwear!

3. Sex is important for married couples. Frances realized that having sex is crucial in keeping the marital relationship alive and strong. Couples should still make some private time for themselves despite being busy being parents to their children. Frances wrote some tips on how to make the couple's sex life alive and kicking in her book, am not telling it, buy the book!

4. When everything else fails, seek God for help. Frances was honest to say that it came a point in her life that she turned away from God. However, when life started to be challenging, she realized that she needed God. Since then, she always consults the Lord for every decision that she makes.

5. Being a parent is hard--acknowledge it! One thing that made Frances loved by her readers is her authenticity. Frances will tell stories of her life without sugarcoating it. While she loves being a parent to three wonderful boys, she also acknowledges the fact that it is hard to be a parent especially if the age gaps are not far away from each other. Frances felt that parenthood stole her chances of climbing the corporate ladder, but as soon as she realized that her sons made her life worthwhile, she didn't have any regrets about it.

6. Mommy, you are a supermom! Not all heroes wear capes; they also wear aprons, daster, and scrunchies! Mommies in general can be called superheroes. They don't need to be career women while taking care of the family. They don't need to be helper-less to be called supermoms. Mommies, in all forms, are supermoms, embrace it!

7. Never be afraid to tell your story. I was touched by Frances' message to me in the book that I should never stop telling my story. Each story is unique, so never be afraid to tell yours because people may learn a thing or two about it.

For those who are interested to read "Not Invisible: A Memoir", here are the ways to purchase it:

1. Amazon--available both in paperback ($7.00) and Kindle editions ($2.99)

2. Shopee--you can buy the book only (Php350) or the experience kit which includes a daster, scented candle, and a classic bookmark (Php750).

"Not Invisble: A Memoir" is one book for women! There is no dull moment in reading the book. You can finish the book in one sitting. There are lots of takeaways from the book! Let's share notes after you have read the book, okay?!

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